![]() Every 20 minutes, some idiot rider with a death wish pops a long wheelie as he exits the premises. A CNN crew is here taping a travel piece. The crowd is jovial, chatty, turned on by the spectacle of all this. To be honest, it looks like a hillbilly wedding - all ages, all types, swirly hair, the whiff of good ganja.įront and center are the motorcyclists and their heaving machines, crackling hot and panting at the curb like horses. We roll in looking like a Nick Nolte booking photo, all windblown and reddened from our ride in the Jeep. It tastes like the wave that just broke your board. On a sunny summer weekend, Neptune’s Net is my favorite place on the planet. Yet the most-beloved hangout - to my mind the reason Malibu exists at all - is a landmark roadhouse on the outskirts that is equal parts good grub and great floor show. I’ll place Malibu Farm, the organic cafe on the pier, as one of my favorite lunch spots. There are all sorts of better places to eat up here: Nobu if you want to be seen, and Geoffrey’s if you want to propose. Once in a while, you duck into Mickey D’s just because. The lesson? Malibu is much like anywhere else. We make do with the young woman in the gleaming new Porsche who blows kisses to the driver for letting her in, then cuts sharply into the McDonald’s lot for lunch. This day, there are no celebrities in sight. Throw a stone in Malibu, you’ll hit a Gosling. Up here, half the dudes resemble Gosling. I would’ve gladly posed for photos, asked how her trademark mole was doing, whether she ever got back to northern Illinois, where we both grew up.Īnd I think another celeb, Ryan Gosling, once cut me off in traffic near the pier, but I can’t be sure. It’s a convenient stop for Malibu beach trips, and a memorable lunch option for those driving the Pacific Coast Highway.Speaking of wild, I bumped into Cindy Crawford once in Malibu, at a pet store, and she didn’t even recognize me, a significant disappointment. Convoys of beach-goers or motorcycle clubs can take the place by storm and suddenly fill every table in the time it takes to refill your tartar sauce. Neptune’s Net is usually pretty full, but even at calm times the traffic comes in waves. The lines at the two counters usually reflect this preference. We find the steamed seafood here to be just average, whereas the fried food matches the rough and tumble crowd much better. They will steam a lobster for you as well. Over at the steamer, peel and eat shrimp are the popular thing to get, but if you’re celebrating, raw oysters and cracked crab claws are an appropriate match for the many beers on offer. Shrimp, crab, and lobster from the steamer It features generous chunks of tender clams and potatoes that still have a nice bite to them, as they should. The chowder is very thick, almost doughy with creamy roux. A bread bowl full wouldn’t be a bad meal choice if you can resist getting something fried. New England clam chowder is very good, too no trip to Neptune’s should be made without at least a bowl of it. ![]() These juicy cakes are better on the sandwiches than over fries. Also included are rich creamy, almost sloppy, grilled crab cakes. The fries are medium cut and perfectly golden. The best way to go is to get the giant sampler and try everything over a mountain of fries along with a conspicuously tiny thimble full of coleslaw. Clam strips and fried scallops are average. The fish to eatįried whitefish is recommended too. The calamari has a different batter than the rest, flaky and tempura-like with large flecks of black pepper. The shrimp meat is succulent within and fried as crunchy as a potato chip. Of the options at the fryer, butterflied shrimp and calamari are the best. People line up for golden fried fish with a panko crust. Neptune’s Net has a large menu of sandwiches, fish tacos, burgers and salads, but the baskets of fried fish served over French fries are what keep the bikers roaring in. ![]() Unless you’re watching your weight, we suggest you focus on the hot kitchen. One serves fried and grilled food, the other only steamed and raw shellfish. There are two different counters with separate menus. Just over the Ventura, CA county line from Malibu is Neptune’s Net - since 1958, a destination where surfers and motorcycle clubs come to drink beer and eat seafood.
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